I’ve been thinking a lot about this lately. Am I screwing up as a mom? Are my mental health and physical health issues affecting them? Can they feel the tension in our marriage?
I don’t want my boys to feel the way I did as I kid. I want them to know how loved they are. I want them to feel pride and know that I am always in their corner. Gosh, being a mom is so hard.
As they get older and start getting more independent, I worry. I worry they aren’t being polite while out. Then I realize how silly this is because I have been raising them, and they know the consequences if they aren’t kind humans. Still, I worry because the influence of others can be stronger than you think!
Being a mom is the hardest job in the world. Yet, it’s one of the few jobs you get thrown into without trainings, without test. If they had test I bet some people wouldn’t be allowed to be parents. Just saying!
Mom life is not for the weak of heart. I feel every hurt they feel. I want to rage on the person that hurt them, but I know I can’t. I have to show them other ways to handle hurt. I have to model good responses, which stinks because sometimes I want to scream and cry for them.
I am scared and scared about messing them up. Am I being too overprotective? Am I teaching them the life skills they need to move out? I don’t know if I’m doing the right things, but I do know I love them so fiercely that it hurts. I do know that when they grow, I’ll be lost without them but excited to see them change the world.
My 3 boys. They are the loves of my life. They are the best of me. They are silly, kind, helpful, smart, and so much more. They are so different from each other yet so alike. Watching them grow up has been the greatest privilege of my life. But I do want time to stop! I don’t want them to grow up but I know they have to.
This next stage of my oldest life, it hurts my heart but fills me with pride at the same time. Driving, college tours, working. All these things. I hope and pray they all go out into the world and not let this cruel world change who they are.
I hope and pray they never lose their smiles and silliness. I hope and pray that they always come back home and want to spend time with me. I hope and pray they always know how much I love them.
Being a mom is so hard. It’s filled with worry and laughter. It’s filled with emotions you didn’t know you had. Too love 3 humans so fiercely well, I’m lucky and blessed to be their mom.
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