Once upon a time, there was a young girl who was hopeful. She dreamed of a world filled with laughter, smiles, and just pure happiness.
Then reality hit. The world was not a kind place. The whispers, the taunts, the meanness started. The world is a cruel place . It wasn’t like her books were telling her. She would not grow up to be a princess with her charming. Instead, she grew up angry and hurt.
That’s how a fairy tale about my life would go. You see, growing up in this world with a disability makes you an easy target. I was bullied, and it was done so low-key that no one saw it to help me.
It started as far back as elementary school. I remember the whispers when we had to line up. The plans my so-called friends would make, and when I would turn around to face them, they would clam up.
I know, I’ve written about this before, but it’s been on my mind lately. You see, I’ve blocked out a lot of my childhood, which, according to my therapist, is due to trauma.
The trauma being that I was bullied and made to feel less than due to my disability. When you can’t hear, kids are cruel. I’m not completely deaf so I would hear bits and pieces of the taunts.
They broke my heart. Why? Because these people were supposed to be my friends, the reality was they weren’t, and I was too scared to face that. As a kid, a teenager, I would rather have fake friends than no friends at all. It’s such a double edged sword.
And now it still happens as an adult. The only difference is that I don’t need those people in my life. Instead, I’ve learned to block out the cruelty. To stuff it deep down inside me. Is that healthy? Not really, but it’s the best I can do.
I’m hopeful that with therapy and continuing to write, I’ll be able to find my happy place. I’ll hope that I’ll be able to find my loud voice to continue to share my story and help others who are like me. Disabled but very capable of living a full life!
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