3 boys and me

Once upon a time, I thought that family meant everything. I thought that family would always care. Boy, was I wrong!

You see, just because you are blood related to someone, that doesn’t mean they truly have your best interests at heart. It doesn’t mean anything, to be honest. Family dynamics change just like friendship change.

When my grandparents were alive, the family was closer. We used to do things together often, holidays, BBQs, and even vacations. Now, I’m lucky if I see any of them ever. Maybe at a funeral or a wedding. Most of the time, not even then.

People get busy. Family members have issues that trickle down to the kids. I honestly feel that my mom is to blame for a lot of this. She isolated us because no one wants to deal with her crazy behavior.

My generation is just plain busy. So, keeping in touch is hard. It’s just heartbreaking to me because I love my cousins on both sides. I wish I could see them more.

Granted, I’m just as much to blame as they are. See, I tried for years to invite and host family at my house. The constant rejection has made me stop asking. I just don’t have the heart to try anymore.

Now, on my husband’s side of the family, we have some pretty awesome cousins. Cousins we see often. We spend holidays and birthdays with. Cousins that my boys know will always be there for them. I count my blessings every day. We are lucky to have them in our lives.

Honestly, I have no idea why I started writing this. I guess family and family dynamics have been on my mind. Family is such a double-edged sword. Like we are expected to love them because they are blood related but you don’t have to like them. You don’t have to spend time with them, and you definitely don’t have to make your kids spend time with them if they aren’t comfortable.

Why does family have to be blood related? Why can’t family be the people you want to spend your time with? The people who love you and your humans unconditionally. Because let’s be honest, blood doesn’t make family. It’s love and respect that makes family.

So, if we are basing it on love and respect. Well, I got a pretty great friend group that has turned into a family. I couldn’t imagine navigating life without them helping me along the way.

If your family is toxic or just too busy for you. Find yourselves a friend or 2 that fills that space in your heart and loves you for you!

Xoxo sharon