The holidays are tough for everyone and cause so much unnecessary stress. For me, it’s amplified because I have to navigate two holidays and deal with the family expectations.
This year, Christmas and Hanukkah are close together, which most people would think, ok, that makes it easier. Not for me. It would be easier for me to combine the two holidays since we host on Christmas eve and day but…
My side of the family flat out refuses. They say they are uncomfortable here on Christmas, which is silly and frustrating. Uncomfortable how? We don’t have a fancy Christmas. We don’t open gifts with family. We just hang out and eat yummy food.
When I ask them to explain, I never get a straight answer. I’ve given up. But then I’m the bad guy because I don’t want to host any more dinners. I just want to combine the two because it’s easier for me.
Then we have the house guest. Now, don’t get me wrong, I love my family, but my anxiety doesn’t. I 100% struggle with the mess, the noise, the crazy. After awhile I can’t handle it anymore especially the mess. I get upset and shut down.
But let me ask you a question…
If you are staying with family, would you leave messes everywhere? Cups, plates, clothes, etc.
I wouldn’t make a mess like that if I was in someone’s home, a hotel, or a rented house. I don’t know if I’m in the minority but I just have too much respect for others to act like I’m in a frat house. I also don’t allow my kids to act like that either.
It’s overwhelming for me, and when I find stuff spilled on the floors and no attempt to clean it. I then shut down completely.
My anxiety is heightened because on top of the house guests, we host company. Which the guest know about since it’s their family that they want to see too. I don’t want my house looking a mess. That’s a reflection on me and not a good one.
Now, I’m not one of those people whose house looks like a showroom, but when I am having company, I want it to be tidy and clean. So…
I basically spend every morning cleaning up after everyone. Washing the floors, picking up toys, and scrubbing every surface. All while they are sleeping. Yep, because my guests sleep most of the morning, even the little kids.
I’m at the point where they have overstayed their welcome. But I will never be that person that tells them they can’t stay here when they visit. I just wish they would realize that the mess they are making is causing me more work.
More work that honestly is taking a toll on my body. I’m struggling to get out of this flare. I know im not getting enough rest. I know the stress is sending my immune system into overdrive. This monster of mine is very active and not happy at the moment.
I was really hoping to have a pain-free vacation week. One where I can do things with my boys, but I don’t see that happening, and it’s breaking my heart.
Anyways thanks for reading, which will probably be my last post of 2022. I really appreciate the support from you all on my writing journey. Especially the support of my friends who encouraged me to do this!
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