3 boys and me

Marriage is hard! It’s not the fairy tale that you grow up believing! You don’t fall in love and it stays the same all these years.

Marriage is a lot of work and sometimes one person is willing to work more then the other. Throw in chronic illness and well…

I know I know I keep writing about being sick but see that’s the reality of my life right now! I’m sick! And my husband is so funny about it. One day he acts like I’m faking and the next he is telling me to rest, that he will do everything.

I don’t know how to be around him. He wants to pretend I’m not sick most days. So, I don’t tell him what’s going on. I don’t tell him I’m having a bad day pain wise.

Then the other night I was scared. I thought I needed to go to the hospital. He is working nights right now so I texted him. I told him how I felt! Next thing I know the whole weekend, he is Mr. Helpful!

It messes with me, emotionally. I never know where I stand with him. Half the time I don’t think he likes me anymore. Isn’t that weird. Being married is so hard!

Especially when you are on different schedules and don’t see each other very often. It’s makes me doubt stuff. My mind goes places I wish it didn’t. I wake up in a panic because of this. My anxiety has been 100× worse lately.

I just, I don’t know, marriage is hard and I’m having a hard time expressing how I’m feeling. 16 years in and the doubts keep creaping in. It’s a lonely life being married to a workaholic. Maybe someday it will get better.

Xoxo sharon