My Neverending dark hole….

At the present moment I’m sitting on the couch trying to work through my anxiety. I’m so off today and I just hate feeling like this. Digging myself out of this Neverending hole is beginning to feel impossible.

I reached out to a new therapist today and guess what she isn’t available to do in-person therapy on the day I’m off work. I don’t want to do virtual. I need the privacy and security of the therapist office. I don’t feel safe to really reveal everything at home because I never know who will walk in or hear what I’m saying.

I’m literally word vomiting right now to try and get through this hump. So I don’t go to work a complete utter mess. Work does help though. It gives me something else to focus on and the smiles of all the tiny humans I see each day. Well, those smiles help. Which is why I adore my job.

My not so little guy is sitting next to me and I think he senses that I’m struggling. He keeps doing goofy things and giving me extra hugs and kisses. Man, I wish this kid truly knew how much he saves me every single day. His smile, jokes, hugs, they make me want to live.

Oh and I have no idea what brought this panic/anxious mood on. With me it literally just happens out of nowhere and for no rhyme or reason. It’s awful. If anyone has advice for me, please share! Can you relate?

Does nature help you heal too?

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