The bad days….

The past few days have been rough but no one would really know it. I’ve gotten very good at hiding how much pain I’m in. For many different reasons, I hide.

Mainly I just don’t want my boys to worry. They don’t need to be scared or worry about my health. I don’t want them feeling guilty if I’m having a bad day and still have to do mom stuff. I might mention to them I’m not feeling my best so they need to help a tad bit more. But I never tell them how bad it really is. Honestly, I’m blessed because my boys truly help and care.

I also hide it because so many people just don’t believe me. They compare my pain to their aches and pains. The truth is there is no way the pain they feel matches what myself or anyone else suffering from a debilitating chronic illness feels. It’s so hard to explain the constant assault that is happening to my body.

I also don’t really want to hear the well intentioned advice on what to do. Exercise more is a big one. I look at people and I’m like do you know who I am when they say that. I do a workout every single day. Or they tell me to rest more. Ummm I do rest as much as possible within my crazy life.

Then you get the big one to LOSE WEIGHT. Well, tell that to the medication I’m taking so I don’t end up in the hospital. Losing weight is so hard when you have things that are causing the weight to stay on.

This weekend in particular was a tough one with pain. My HIDRADENITIS SUPPARIVITA is flaring which is causing my Lupus to flare. I feel like I got punched in the face and stepped on by a dinosaur.

By Monday (today) I could barely sit up right but I pushed through and did all the Fall things. It was worth it though to watch my boys run through the corn maze, laughing and having fun with each other. As of now, I’m on the couch and will be here til the morning! Hopefully the rest will help and I can be close to ok for our busy Tuesday!

Moral of my story: gauge your audience before you give advice or share about your aches and pains. As helpful as you think you are, it’s not. I’m not trying to dismiss anyone’s pains but if attempted to walk a mile in my shoes you would understand why it’s hard to hear.

My boys and I at the pumpkin patch!

With love- Sharon

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